Disappointment

For those of you who are in my women's bible study or couples community group at church you know Matt and I have been praying about this Ft Worth Police Officer job opportunity for a while now. It pays really well, has great insurance, and has an awesome retirement plan! I was all excited for him and have been praying for him to get this job for months.

He had his 3rd physical agility test on Monday. It went good and bad. He passed all the tests but didn't score as high as he wanted. In fact they told them that they would be required to reach many physical requirements as they go through the police academy. One of which would be running 3 miles in 8.5 min!!!! Thats like a full out sprint the ENTIRE way! Thats basicly running a 5k in 8.5 min. Inconceivable! He ran 1.5 miles in 11 min today. Also, he would be required to do 3 sets of 30 pushups and sit-ups in a very short period of time. Matt and I have been training for the 5k and so we've been running for a few months and he is in pretty good shape, not to mention he has lost 60 lbs in the last 1.5 so he's doing great! But he can't run 3 miles in 8.5 min and I don't know anyone who can do that. And we know a lot of runners too! That is just crazy! I know what you are thinking...if he'll just try really hard and hire a personal trainer maybe he could do it. Well, before he puts himself through that much craziness, there are some other things that he has to consider before making his decision.

He learned a lot of new information on Monday that has really turned the tables on his decision to peruse a career in law enforcement. The entire time he was there he had an uneasy feeling, like he was out of place. Matt has worked at a police dept before so he knows how cops work but he realized just sitting there in the room listening to other police instructors talk, that he didn't want to be like these men in 5 or 10 years. Let me explain, he said these men were calloused, purposefully intimidating and very authoritative and power hungry. They gave off a very negative vibe and the environment that they created was not one that he could see himself working in for the rest of his life. He didn't really feel like he should do this which is something he's never really felt before.

My point is, after spending time with these police officers who would be his peers, he is thinking maybe it does not fit his personality profile. Now, don't get me wrong, my husband is not a wimpy little girl who is afraid to get in there with the big dogs and bust a bad guy. haha. My husband has so many great leadership qualities that I thought would make him a great cop. He can be very calming in stressful situations. He explains things well and is meticulous in whatever he does. He can think quickly on his feet and wants to bring about justice to those who need it. All these things make up a good cop. BUT, my husband is also a servant leader, meaning he does not demand attention from others. Most of the time he leads through humility and people notice his quiet confidence and friendliness. Something that I love most about him is his integrity and his commitment to his family. I am so thankful for the qualities that the Lord has given Matt and I would hate for him to loose that or be asked to change for the sake of the job. There might be a few people with his personality who are in law enforcement but I'm not sure there are many. Just because of the nature of the job, I'm not sure can see him acting like a power hungry jerk to strangers on a daily basis, which is exactly how the officers he met acted. I love him just the way he is. Matt is a really sweet guy who treats everyone with respect (esp women) and is such a gentlemen. Honestly, I can't remember a time when a cop has kindly smiled at me or held the door open for me. Most of the time I feel like they are looking at me to see if I look guilty. haha.

I really have never had a horrible experience with a cop. I've only gotten one ticket in my entire life. (even batting my eyes didn't work! Dang! haha) I have nothing against cops. But now that my husband wants to become one and he is starting to be around them more, he feels like thats not the place for him.

So Matt is feeling pretty upset today. His hopes were set so high on this job because it payed so well and it did not require a degree. That doesn't happen very often haha! He also feels like he's letting me down cause I was so excited for him to get this job. I told him I will be his cheerleader with whatever job he wants to peruse and that God is teaching me through this experience just as much as He is teaching Matt!

Please pray for Matt as he try's to make sense of everything and that God will lead him to what he should peruse. It is the first time he has had no upcoming interviews scheduled. This was his last one that he was really banking on. He is really good with computers and could work on them ALL DAY LONG! He is looking for some opportunities to do something with that which would be great! I wonder if Apple is hiring? haha. Thank you guys!

God has provided me with a stable job that pays the bills so God could teach Matt (and me) patience and what it means to WAIT ON THE LORD. It's working God! haha! His ways and timing will ALWAYS be better then ours. Thank you Lord for your provision in our lives!