Last night I sorta had meltdown. This doesn't happen very often so my husband was very sweet to get me a box of tissues and cuddle with me in bed until I feel asleep. I think I have had too much on my plate lately and have been spending not enough time with Addy and not enough time in God's Word. Friday I left work early to go straight to the Women's Retreat in Irving that my church put on. From there on Saturday we went over to his moms house for dinner. Sunday morning early we took Natasha and David's engagement pictures and then right after that we had community group. I was barely home this weekend! Sometimes I feel like I'm missing a lot. Like today Matt told me "Did you know Addy can say "Thank You" and "Please and that she will lead you to the kitchen when she wants a snack" ? Nope. Didn't know that. I hate missing cool stuff like that! Lord please continue to give me patience that your timing is best no matter what.
Matt and I would love to start up our own photography business. He isn't working right now (out of the home of course...) and so you would think now would be the perfect time to get one started. But because I'm the main photographer. Matt is the assistant, I don't think me working full time in nursing AND doing portrait sessions AND spending enough time with Addy etc would work unless it was only a few times a month. We shall see. I will keep praying about it. I would love for my hobby to become my source of income. Can you say Dream Job!!!???? haha.
Like I told you above, I went to a women's retreat this past weekend. The woman that spoke, I absolutely loved. Her name is Debbie Wilson. She and her husband travel the US counseling married couples and speaking a large conferences on marriage. They are very interesting and tell story's of their mistakes they have made through the years to teach you what NOT to do. haha. It's pretty awesome. I bought one of her discs to listen to in the car while I drive to and from work. Maybe I'll be in a better mood on my way home from work each day haha. I took 7 (thats SEVEN) pages of notes!!! Can you believe that?! haha. I was soaking up everything she said like a sponge. I know a lot of newlyweds and engaged couples at my church and in my family. I thought about typing up everything I took notes on and emailing it to them (when I find the time).
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NOTES:
She has so many good points I ran out of ink in one of my pens! Here are a few pointers from my 7 pages of notes...
~Going through trials in your life you need to remember "PASSION IS BIRTHED OUT OF PAIN"
~Men view life like this; if they have a loving wife, a few kids, a car, a dog and have sex every once in a while then everything in their life is just as it should be. Women on the other hand need for from life then that....
~ The world does not need any more christians. It needs TRANSFORMED women for Christ. Ones that actually live and act different.
~ Phil 1:6 Put your pride away.
~ THEME VERSE FOR THE WEEKEND: Romans 12:2 (The Message)
Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
When we are broken, thats the only way He can get our attention most of the time!
Are you a giver in your marriage? or are you constantly taking from others? Do you walk around seeing what you can get from others? Emotionally, spiritually, mentally? You will always come up empty if you don't fill your heart/mind with Christ's love.
Are you living on an island of fear?
Rid me of myself ----> We are naturally very selfish
Zephaniah- He sings over us!
God talking: " I'm not going to take your struggles away, that would be the worst thing I could do for you in the long run! You gotta do the hard work to be molded into the women I want you to be!"
It is a constant journey, being molded into the women God wants you to be...
3 BIGGEST REASONS FOR DIVORCE:
~ Communication
~SEX
~Finances
James 3:13
Are you focused on the wrong thing in your marriage?
When your marriage hits a wall....do you..... (happens usually between the ages of 25-40)
Option A- In it for life, will commit to working hard to save the marriage. Divorce not an option
Option B- The easy/lazy way out, Divorce
Option C- The church- The couple backs up to the point of least resistance and spends their life just coasting, careful not to disturb each other or "wake the beast". Never addresses any issues. Keeps feelings and emotions buried. Never deals with marital issues. They end up being still married at age 70 but hating each other and act like roomies that in the same house. aka "Bitter old married couple."
Don't just be PHYSICALLY married, be EMOTIONALLY married. (in other words....TALK, COMMUNICATE, your husband is NOT TELEPATHIC)
EXPECTATIONS: This was a huge topic that she took at least a hour to talk about. I know when I first got married, I had certain expectations of how I thought my marriage should be. Boy was I wrong! I had no idea! My expectations were way too high and unrealistic. God was working on me just as much as he was working on my husband! My pride got in the way and I was immediately disappointed for a little while. I eventually realized that I needed to give my new husband grace and NOT TRY TO CHANGE HIM into the man that I wanted him to be, but pray for God to mold him. It is not my responsibility to nag and to tell my husband all the ways he messes up. Why would any man want to live around someone who constantly was putting them down and telling them what to do like they were kids? Prayer is the single BEST way to change your husband into a man of God.
Expectations will sabotage your marriage.
1) UNSPOKEN expectations --> discouragement
2) UNMET expectations --> disappointment
3) UNREALISTIC expectations --> defeat
If you do not communicate what you are feeling to your husband and you carry those feelings bottled up inside, over the years you will began to resent him. We are both on completely different wave lengths, you have to VOICE what you are feeling! He cannot read your mind!
Are you putting too high of standards on the people in your home? Do your children feel like you doom them to failure no matter what?
Selfness and Pride are no place for a marriage.
Are you always irritable?
Are you consumed with YOU?
"The things we fear the most we tend to create"
DON'T JUDGE THE BEHAVIOR, What is the deeper problem that is causing them to act this way? Address this issue instead!!!
The way you love your children (publicly and privately) , teaches others more then any church could. Actions speak louder then words.
Giving unconditional love with no strings attached to your children. If your children rebel, just love them and love them. Always tell them you love them but don't condone the things they do.
The only thing that can make you truly happy/joyful is Christ. Nothing else will ever satisfy. New car, bigger house, more money....nothing. Leaves us feeling empty, always wanting more. --> Romans 12:2
THE MIND:
We say out loud 120 wpm
We think 1300 wpm
70% of those words are NEGATIVE.
We cannot let our thoughts wander.
II Corinthians 10:5 Is this truth or is it a lie?
God's word is the only thing that has power over negativity
Isaiah 41:9-10 "I have chosen you....do not fear"
IT"S NOT WHAT WE SAY, ITS HOW WE LIVE.....
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Prayer Requests: So many people I know are dealing with a lot more difficult things then me right now and I want to make sure and lift them up in prayer.
Thank you Lord for giving me everything I NEED right now in my life and even many things that I don't need.
1- Friend Paula just adopted a 6 month old baby this weekend. She has 3 other school aged children! Pray for the adjustment as it will take some time esp with three other kids.
2- My friend Kyla and her son Parker. They told her this week that her son might have a brain condition that would cause his brain to swell as he grows which would eventually cause him to be a vegetable. As of right now it is only a possibility/worst case. We all know God is so much bigger then any doctor or statistic so keep him in your prayers. They are still "watching" his head size a little longer. (6 more months!!!) Make it go away!!!
3- Another friend of mine is dealing with a lot of difficult things in her marriage. Most people would have already divorced but she is working so hard to save it and needs prayers!
It's 11:15pm and I'm sooooo going to regret going to bed this late (come 4:45am) but it's the only time I have to myself! I really need time to myself!!! It's so therapeutic for me. Thanks for listening!
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