Coffee Ice Cream and Twilight

I am mentally exhausted. I soooo wish I had a job at Pottery Barn instead of at the hospital. I would love to have my own office. I would also love to work ALONE by myself in a cubical. haha! I would LOVE to be my own boss. School nursing is sound pretty dang good this week. I wouldn't have to deal with all this drama crap with so many strong personalities in such close corders all the time! Because of the nature of my work and some of the people I work with, I come home mentally drained almost every day. Little things are starting to really get on my nerves. I would say that I need a vacation but really that wouldn't change anything at work, what I really need is to start reading my bible more!

It's my bedtime (9:30) but I refuse to go to sleep when I haven't stopped all day and want to do something for MYSELF! To have some quiet time for myself to do whatever the heck I want!!!! For the first time in a very long time, I am sitting down in the living room, eating Blue Bell coffee ice cream, watching Eclipse and blogging. Some of my most FAVORITE things to do. Things I rarely find myself doing anymore. I feel like I've been behind for weeks. Behind on my duties as a wife and a mom. My weekends have been busy since mid-march. Because I work 8 hr shifts, Mon-Fri, I have no time during the week to get things done around the house and so I rely HEAVLY on my weekends to do things like organize, de-clutter, laundry, cleaning out closets, making a grocery list, opening junk mail, cleaning out the fridge....the list goes on. My weekends have been so packed with stuff with church or with my family or with random other things that I have had no time to catch-up and more importantly have had no extended amount of time with Addy. Last weekend Addy spent one whole day with Matt's mom and a whole other half day with mine because we had so many non-kid things to do. (multiple church meetings, baby showers etc.)

It has been one of those weeks. Actually the past couple weeks have been tough mentally. There are probably a few reasons for this. I've been behind on my bible study lately which is probably the #1 reason life in general has been smothering me lately. The 2nd reason could be because we've been so busy we haven't ran in about two weeks and running improves your mood I think. (Even though I'm in a bad mood during my run hahah!)

Ya know, I don't know how people do it. I only have one child and my husband does so much around the house during the day. It's like you need one person to stay at home during the day just to "run the household" and prepare for the next day. Even moms who have school aged kids or teens who are gone at school every day have plenty to do to keep up with everything that has to be done!

There is something that I heard once that I will never forget: "If Satan can't make you sin he'll make you busy."

Which basically means, the devil will do anything to keep you from experiencing the daily joys and blessings that God has for each of us. If we can't seem to stop or say no to some things and consume our lives with "activities". If we get busy doing the little monotonous things in life (driving to soccer practice, then a PTA meeting, then ballet lessons ect) we totally forget the priorities. And then it's years later, and we wonder where our life went and how many things God wanted to teach and show us that we missed out on. I don't want to be one of those people.

PRAYER REQUEST: I would LOVE LOVE LOVE for matt to get this Ft Worth Police job so I can go part-time. His first interview for this job was in August. Yes I said AUGUST!!!!!!! That was 8 months ago!!!!!! He just got a call this week that it's his turn to come in for the second part of the interview; the physical agility test. This is his last hope for a police job. All his eggs are in this one basket so to speak.... If God says no to this then we will go in a different direction I guess.

Anyway, It's now 10:30 and I'm falling asleep while I type. Thanks for letting me vent. I want to stress that I am very appreciative of my job and am very thankful that I alone am able to support my family. He knows exactly what we need on a daily basis and provides it faithfully. Thank you Lord.