Raising a family on one salary is challenging, but I've gotten used to it. I grew up in a family with a stay at home mom so I definitely know what it's like to be on a budget! And might I add that I am so glad I grew up with a mom who was always there for me and I wouldn't change it for two working parents and more money for anything! I am so thankful that God has blessed me with a career that pays well enough to support a house and a family. God has been SO faithful to fulfill all our needs and even some wants too! He has been teaching me a LOT this past year about the difference between wants and needs. And since I love to cook and bake and decorate our house, you can imagine how much I have "kicked and screamed" about it this year. Matt's most common phrase to me has been " STOP COMPLAINING... we have way more then we need". It always makes be shut up because he's right. I hate it when he's right.
Lately I've been wondering what the reasoning may be that God has decided not to bring Matt a job yet. We've been praying about it for 8 months now. I realized that maybe...just maybe it could have something to do with ME!!!!?? (gasp) Is He trying to tell me that I need to learn to rely on Him completely? Is He trying to get me to stop being so materialistic and to learn to live on things that I NEED and not things that I want (curtains in our living room, new carpet, a second pair of jeans, a pedicure...etc)? I have come a long way since the women's retreat at TCAL in April. During that time I was really struggling with not having a husband that worked and I was jealous that HE jot to stay home with Addison when that is what I always wanted to do! He was stealing my job!! Haha. Then it hit me, Matt had been to so many job interviews (and still is) but he isn't the one who decides whether or not Matt gets a job. God is! He has it all under control and He was the one that was going to enable (or not-enable) Matt to find a job. So, I stopped blaming Matt and started to work on showing him respect, which is my main job as a wife. I hadn't been doing a very good job of this since Addy was born. Since I changed my attitude our marriage has really blossomed! We are doing great as a couple and are both really growing in the Lord together which makes for a strong marriage.
I am totally baring my soul here but sometimes I struggle with jealously. Women especially struggle with this I think. We compare A LOT. Our pastor recently talked about this and it was amazing to hear what he had to say!!! I wrote a ton of notes! Here are some highlights that I wanted to remember:
First things first: What/Who am I jealous of....?
1. Stay at home moms- because it's my dream
2. People who are free to go out and buy new clothes as they wish ( I WANT a second pair of jeans, I don't NEED them)
3. People who have turned their hobbies into a business- photography, baking (cupcakes, cakes etc), home decor. I would love to do any of these things as a SAHM.
3. People who are able to buy things for their child as they grow. (NEW car seat- God provided one from a garage sale though!, "big-girl" toys, clothes etc.).
4. People who LIKE to work out. I hate it and have never done it more then a few months and that was only to loose my preggo weight. I would love to be one of those people who does it as a lifestyle. You can always tell who those people are and aren't.
Ok those are generally my list of jealousies. Now here's what God has to say about it.
James 4:1-3 (The Message)
Where do you think all these quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves. You lust for what you don't have and are willing to kill to get it. You want what isn't yours and will risk violence to get your hands on it. You wouldn't think of just asking God for it, would you? And why not? Because you know you'd be asking for what you have no right to. You're spoiled children, each wanting your own way.
Sounds like a selfish little 5 year old throwing a temper tantrum. That is so me. I never thought of myself as a selfish person but I so am in this instance. Which isn't right because HE OWES US NOTHING, I OWE HIM EVERYTHING.
So what do we do if we are jealous?
1. Take a long look in the mirror. Im not getting my way...
2. Take your desires to God. If it's important to you it's important to God. No matter how small.
3. Trust His answer...even if it's "wait" or "No"
4. Admit that you don't know what's best for you
5. CELEBRATE others peoples successes! ( Let it go by celebrating with them...don't keep it smoldering inside)
Those are just my two cents on life. It is almost midnight and I have to work in the morning!! What am I doing?!!! Pictures to come.
Katie,
ReplyDeleteLoved this entry, girl! I hope you know that I think you are a fantastic mother and wife...I truly aspire to be like you someday.
I understand how hard it is to live on one salary...no lie, it sucks sometimes, but like you said..we have SO MUCH MORE than we need. I constantly have to remind myself between needs & wants.
But, I love that we kind of have this same "struggle," it makes it easier to share frustrations with someone. We can do it together!!
Love you girl.
Hey,
ReplyDeleteWanted to answer your questions from my blog...
We took the bottle from Lucy the day after she turned one (just woke up and never gave her one). We took the bottle from Reese at 18 months. It was harder to take it from Reese because I never nursed her so she had a strong connection with the bottle (I think I took it from her slowly, though). Lucy nursed for 7 months and had a bottle until one. She never got attached to it, so it was easy to take away. She never noticed! I don't give Lucy milk. We don't drink milk. She drinks almond milk before bed at night, but other than that she drinks water (we aren't big on juice). Lucy also used the sippy cup a lot before turning one, so she was used to drinking water from it and it was no big deal.
I don't know if you are nursing or not, but that will play a big role. If she loves her bottle, it might be hard to take away (like with Reese). You could try cold turkey and if she's miserable, just let her have it a few times a day. Good luck with that one. It's not always fun moving into a new stage.
My girls got their flu shots last month. Lucy got a shot and Reese got the nose spray (loved that). I always get shots. I think they work. My kids have never had the flu (and never get sick). Don't know if it's the shots or just luck, but I like to be safe.
I hope I helped a little! Good luck with all these fun decisions.
and ps I love your blog! I need to work on being more respectful to my hubs, too. Must be something about being married for almost 5 years... we've just gotten too comfortable. Thanks for being so open!
ReplyDeleteBaring it all is so freeing, isn't it! I think we all deal with the same frustrations, I know I have, especially in regards to living on one income, and relationship changes with the spouse after baby arrives.
ReplyDeleteI also struggle with many of the same jealously things you do. Just so you know, I too get jealous of your same things, #'s 2-5. In place of #1, since I am a stay at home mom, I feel not jealous, but TERRIFIED to go back to work as a nurse because I don't know if I'll remember anything. And I will have to go back much sooner than I'd hoped.
Thank you for sharing the verse and what you learned during the sermon. I needed to read that!
So I was skimming your past blogs while at work today. My reports were taking forever to run. :) I just wanted to say I'd love to get to know you more. I think we have a lot in common - both working moms, both have husbands trying to find jobs, and both long to be better wives and mothers. Maybe it will work out that we'll actually be in the same CG some day so we can connect. In the mean time, know you aren't alone in this desire. :)
ReplyDelete